This week, we get our ass to Mars when Bouncin’ Bobby LePire (“Film Threat”) defends the film with the blandest title in history, the 2012 sci-fi film “John Carter.” *** Prosecutor: Big Ben Haslar. Defense: Bouncin’ Bobby LePire. Judge: The Honorable Dylan J. Schlender. Jurors: Dylan J. Schlender, Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Maynard Bangs. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden.